Connie Hilton considers herself a victor, not a victim.
A leader in Bridges to Life, a statewide organization that helps soon-to-be-released prison inmates understand the plight of victims, Ms. Hilton has had her own bridges to build.
Thirteen years ago, she was engaged to be married to longtime companion George Newman when her seemingly perfect world went into a tailspin after three men broke into the couple's Smith County home.
Newman, 45, was shot to death and Ms. Hilton, now 53, was raped. Convicted of capital murder in the attack, Ricky Lynn Lewis, 40, is on death row for the crime while his accomplices were never identified.
Although it is the newspaper's policy not to print the names of sexual assault victims, Ms. Hilton is a self-proclaimed exception. Her name is common in prisons all over Texas, where she and other crime victims across the state visit inmates weekly to show them the effects of their crimes, give them hope and potentially deter them from re-offending.
Bridges to Life, founded in 1999 by a Houston man whose sister was murdered, is geared toward inmates preparing for release, including violent offenders such as murderers, and those convicted of petty property crimes.
Ms. Hilton, one of three regional coordinators, and about 450 other volunteers conduct confidential 12-week sessions with inmates in various prison units. They separate inmates into small groups and teach each other how to face their demons through victim impact statements, support and just by listening to one another.
Victims don't face their own perpetrators, but help others not to become Ricky Lynn Lewises, Ms. Hilton said.
Currently, she is conducting sessions in the Beto Unit near Palestine, but she has traveled weekly from her Smith County home to minister to inmates as far away as Houston.
"I get a healing out of every one," said Ms. Hilton, who joined the program in 2000. "And I felt I had to do something to help others heal."
Her self-healing began with victim impact panels, in which she told her story to inmates, "but didn't know if it affected anyone," Ms. Hilton said.
She tried a Bridges to Life panel in Beaumont and decided to make the program a weekly regime.
"The offenders heal, also," Ms. Hilton said. "They understand the victim's side. By seeing a victim face to face, by hearing our stories, they realize they have victims."
The inmates also realize the trail of victims does not end with those they target in offenses.
"They ran out on their families, but they never looked at it that way," Ms. Hilton said.
She recalled one man who was upset because his daughter told him he chose drugs over her.
"When he realized that's what he did, he was hurt - deeply hurt - and it takes people to tell them, 'This is what you've done,'" Ms. Hilton said. "These men listen to us. They know we've been on the other side."
For Ms. Hilton, the feeling of helping someone make the right choices offers her some sanctity and keeps her from being victimized over and over again by a justice system that doesn't seem to bring her justice.
Lewis, who has a Web site full of anecdotes from supporters wanting to save his life, recently won a stay of execution so the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals can review an argument claiming he is mentally retarded.
That means after two trials - the punishment phase was retried due to judicial error - Ms. Hilton is destined to return to court within a year for a judge to set another execution date. Or, Lewis' sentence would be commuted to life in prison.
"He was in and out of prison," Ms. Hilton said. "I think maybe if he'd been in a program like Bridges to Life at some point, maybe it would not have happened and George would be alive."
Ms. Hilton ultimately married and her husband is supportive of her weekly prison visits.
Other family members, such as her 28-year-old son, scratch their heads when they think of her ministering to criminals, given what she has endured.
She said she only feels like a victim when she returns to a courtroom where the attention is on her and the pain she suffered.
"But by sharing my story with others, there is hope of it helping someone else," Ms. Hilton said.
According to the statistics, it probably has.
As of July 31, 2003, 1,007 inmates completed the program since 2000.
Of those, 762 were released and 63, or 8.3 percent, returned to prison.
The state prison system reports a 50 percent recidivism rate among inmates who do not participate in Bridges to Life.
Another advocate for the program, Karen Choice, has participated sporadically when she is not busy with Chad's House, a north Tyler shelter and referral service named after her murdered 8-year-old son Chad Choice.
"As I went through the program, it showed me a different insight," Mrs. Choice said. "I was able to identify hurts, identify remorse and repentance. There was a lot of emotion I saw in people. I saw for myself the faces of remorse and repentance and that has helped me to grow more."
And, she added, "there's no judgment in it."
Anne Wright covers Smith County government and courts. She can be reached at 903.596.6284. e-mail: news@tylerpaper.com
©Tyler Morning Telegraph 2003
You can view this original on the Tyler Morning Telegraph website here.